Self-Imposed Exile - The Beginning

A novel told in fragments: a writer's quiet struggle to finish a novel, alone in the woods.

Wednesday, November 1st

Happy New Year! Well, not yet but I’m considering this my New Year’s because I’m going to be doing something very different this year. And this is my New Year’s resolution, starting early, obviously.

I’m going to write that novel I’ve been thinking/talking/fiddling with for the past I don’t know how many years. I know, I know. I’ve said that before. I’ve made that resolution before. I’ve journaled about it here before. In fact I went back and found all the other times I’ve said I was going to write it or tried to write it or whatever. And there were a lot. Life, as they say, tends to get in the way as it did for me, especially this last year. But that’s also one of the reasons I can - AND WILL - do it this time!

I finally got my parents estate stuff settled (not fun) - bank accounts, stocks, car, house - it’s all done. With the sale of the house, my sister and I came away with just over $300,000 each. It’s more money than I’ve ever had in my bank account at one time. Heck, it’s more money than I ever thought I’d have in my bank account. Well, no, that’s not true. I always thought after I finished my novel I’d have royalties and, of course, TV and movie money. And we all know how big Hollywood pays out for some of their stuff. So, I used to think I’d be super rich and living in some Beverly Hills mansion. But, over the course of the years, and seeing as how I just keep getting older and have had long stretches where I haven’t written anything or been hired to write anything, especially the novel, or written anything else of note besides these journal entries, it started to look like I’d be one of those struggling artists for the rest of my life.

But this money has changed things. It’s giving me freedom. It’s giving me the chance that I say I’ve been waiting for. I can quit my job. I can find a retreat and I can just use that time to write. I certainly won’t have any excuse as to why I can’t or say things like “I don’t have time.” No work. No people bugging me. No obligations I have to attend to. It will be just me and the novel. Average novel length is around 90,000 words. I figure if I can write 500 words a day I’ll have it finished in 3-4 months. That, of course, is writing 7 days a week. Will I do 500 words a day? I hope to but I also know myself and I know there will be days where things just aren’t flowing or I don’t feel like writing or I’m just tired. Will I write 7 days a week? Well, I’m debating on that right now. I’ll hold off on that to see how things go. If I do 500 words a day 5 days a week (2,500 words a week, 10,000 words a month) it’ll take 9 months. So I’ve given myself three extra months, one full year, which should be plenty of time.

I’ll be heading up to the mountains to my parents “cabin in the woods.” Ironically I used to hate going there in the summers with them when I was a kid. No one around for miles. The lake out front just seemed to breed mosquitos in the summer. There were no other kids to play with, no TV to watch, and at the time, no cell phones to play games on or text with friends. It was awful. Well, not awful, but boring. I had some very good times up there. But, as I said, it was isolated. And that’s what I think I need. It’s not so isolated that if I need help or get sick or injured I can’t get a hold of anyone or will never be found. But isolated enough that if I don’t want to see anyone for weeks or months at a time, I don’t have to.

The biggest town, even though it’s very small, is 30 minutes away in case I need supplies. But I can also order anything I need from Amazon to be delivered, though they usually have a rough time finding this place and sometimes just leave the packages down at the mailboxes which are about a half mile away. I forgot how long the “driveway” is sometimes. Then I have to trek down there to get it. But, again, not a bad thing. I won’t have to see the driver or be disturbed by the truck pulling up here. And, it will give me some exercise, especially in the winter (although I can’t say I’m looking forward to that). I also went out and bought a year’s supply of that emergency food stuff. I’m sure it’s not the greatest tasting food but it’s food. And I doubt I’ll need to use most of it. It’s really just for the winter weeks or months that I’ll be snowed in (because that absolutely will happen). But if I truly don’t ever want to leave the house or see or be bothered by anyone I’ll still have plenty of food.

I decided to start this writing retreat or self imposed exile as my sister has been calling it, in November because I want to get the winter months out of the way first. The snows can get pretty bad up in that area and there actually can be times when I can’t get out onto the roads. So, if I’m gonna be trapped, I’d like to be trapped early on knowing spring is coming.

Spring and summer will be great. Even though as a kid it was boring, summer was still nice. Had the lake to swim in, had canoe rides to take with the family. Though those canoe rides were a little hairy at times. I have a tendency to flip canoe’s. Not sure why. Doesn’t happen every time but it’s happened more often than I, or anyone with me, would have liked. I think it has something to do with those old timey canoe’s my parents had. They had more of an angular bottom which required more of a balancing act. The more modern canoes have a flatter bottom which is more stable. My parents, even in their older years, and my sister never seemed to have a problem with the “tippier” canoe. Clearly it wasn’t a gene they passed on to me.

Then I finish up my year up there just when it’s starting to get wintery and cold again. Plus it’s always nice to see the changing of the leaves up there in October or November.

I will do my best to limit my distractions. I bought a very basic cell phone and will use it just to makes calls and I don’t plan on making too many of them. I will have a computer even though there’s no internet. But I can use my phone as a hot spot for when I do need to get to the interwebs. That, again, will only be for when I really need it - ordering supplies, sending emails, looking up references, etc. There is also a landline that only a few people know the number to. Again, that will be just for emergencies. There’s a DVD player so I will be bringing a handful of movies and some old reliable TV shows that I’ve seen a million times that I can just throw on in the background or watch when things get boring or when I just need a break.

Other than that it will be just me and the writing and nature. Kind of like Thoreau when he wrote Walden. Of course this novel I’ve had on my mind for decades won’t be about detailing my day to day life living at the cabin. These journal entries are for that. Just my usual journaling stuff, mainly to get down some thoughts or feelings or catharsis for things that are bothering me. Or just to get things out of my head. The real writing will come with my magnum opus, the novel I’ve been thinking about forever!

It’s been a long time coming. Here’s to the grand adventure!

If you’re new, here’s where it all began: https://mikefasolo.substack.com/archive